Dating Pains

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Dating is a lot like puberty. You have to test your will and patience so you can come out of it unscathed. This is applicable not just to the younger generation of the society. Even the older individuals have to go through the teething stages of dating in order to make the relationship work, or at least flourish for a while. If you’re not getting asked out for another date, or worse, not getting asked at all, you may have to look deeper into yourself to see what messages you’re sending to those guys.

Sure, you go out and then they promise that they’ll call. You practically wait beside the phone, but as usual, they didn’t push through with their promise. That can be disheartening and extremely disappointing. You call your friends and ask for their take on the situation, but the truth is, you need to get the opinion of a man in order to understand a man.

Usually the problem can lie on the way you dress. Are you putting an ensemble together to impress the fashionistas instead of catching a man’s attention? Women usually assume that what’s cute for them is also the same for the man. Your goal is to lure the man in, like a fisherman to a hook. Men aren’t as conscious with brands. What they really want to see is that wonderful figure underneath that dress. You don’t have to look skanky to make this possible. You need to leave room for imagination and not cry out desperation in the clothes you wear.

As for your conversations, remember that the first time can be a little bit tricky, and more importantly, somewhat awkward. Maybe out of sheer nervousness, you tend to give out too much information. If you reveal too much of yourself all in one go, your date could end up feeling uncomfortable. Or, sometimes talking too much can just be plain annoying. Keep that impulse to over-share in check by following some set guidelines you can come up with. The story should be no more than two minutes, and the topic should never circle around your mother or your supervisor at work. If you don’t want him to make plans that don’t involve you, talk about something that he can easily relate to. The more personal stuff can come as the relationship progresses.

As you get to know the guy, try not to be too engrossed with your phone. Sending messages to someone else while you’re on a date is simply disrespectful. People even consider it a taboo even when you’re just out with friends. Live in the now and try to keep communication with the others at a minimum. Then, politely excuse yourself and apologize for that minute you’ll need to make a short reply. In the early stages on dating, the less you’re involved with technology, the better it’ll be for the two of you. The same rule applies with the guy you’re with. Don’t come out too assertive by constantly sending him text messages. Until you’ve bonded, online and phone conversations are best set aside. What you need right now is face to face interaction.

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