Sure, your colleagues are nice to your face. But what do they say behind your back? You don’t have to wait for someone to get inebriated at a party to find out how you’re viewed at work. You get nonverbal messages from the people around you every day. Often, you’re just not paying enough attention. Here’s a crash course in ferreting out whether your on-the-job cohorts think you’re smart, likeable, or neither.
Your coworkers like you if they initiate conversations. Coffee gatherings have gone the way of cigarette breaks, and they’re all but extinct. Nowadays most people communicate by email, IM, or phone. So if your colleagues are chatting you up in the hallway, they’re taking time to break routine and speak to you. If they avert their eyes or sneak glances at their watches during a conversation, they may not be so into you.
During a one-on-one, do they nod thoughtfully and lean into your conversation? Do the corners of their eyes crinkle when they smile in response to funny comments you make? Moreover, the more animated a person’s face, the more they are in the conversation. People just deviate from their normal speech patterns when they’re nervous or uncomfortable. Someone who normally speaks at a leisurely pace might become a speed talker, while a person who usually talks quickly might pause for long moments. If they enjoy your company, you won’t notice a change in their vocal stride. This also shows that there’s trust in the relationship. They’re comfortable; they freely go about their tasks without being conscious of their words or actions with you around.
Your coworkers respect you if they also know when to keep quiet when it’s your turn to talk. Asking for your opinion, well, that’s a no-brainer. But letting you take control of a conversation is a less obvious way to show how much they care about what you have to say. You can see the degree to which other people respect you by observing how often they look to you for a reaction or a cue. And when a problem arises, they turn to face you. They even make room for you. When you sit down at a meeting, see if you’re neighbors move their stuff closer to themselves and out of your way, or push their chair back a bit to give you more room. That shows they respect you. Also look if they copy you. What they about imitation and flattery is true. Subconsciously, you try to mirror people you like and respect. If you notice a coworker mimicking your movements, he or she probably admires you.
When people go that extra mile to please you, it means that they really think you’re a stand-up person. Return the kindness and always thank them with grace. When you’re too busy to strike up a short conversation, excuse yourself and promise to get back as soon as you can give them your undivided attention. More importantly, stay true to your word and really catch up when the time allows. The Omniscience Principle - Begin YOUR journey towards PERSONAL AND FINANCIAL FREEDOM right here, right now
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