Getting What You Want

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It’s a commonly held belief that whenever you set a new goal for yourself, whether it’s scoring your dream job or getting fitter, you should broadcast it to all of your friends. After all, the more people you tell, the more likely you’ll do it because you don’t want to be thought of as failure. On the contrary, babbling about your goal can give you a false sense of accomplishment, making you less likely to actually go for it. You react when you see them happy, instantly giving you a jolt of satisfaction and pride. You may feel so satisfied, in fact, that you lose motivation to start the project. Why should you do it when you’re somehow reaping the benefits early on? The smarter strategy would be not to tell a single soul. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Well, secret dreams are very powerful and by not telling anyone, you’re making sure you’re goal is something you’re doing on your own. That’s opposed to, say, just wanting to have something impressive to talk about when you get together with other people. Plus, you won’t run the risk of letting anyone else’s opinions get in your way. What stops many from pursuing their dreams is other people. When some don’t agree to your plans, you may start to believe them when you really should trust your own gut. Beyond that, others may have ulterior motives for being naysayers. If you announce that you’re going to be devoting tons of time to a big goal, a good friend may worry that they will see less of you and subconsciously distract you from the finish line. You should keep mum about it because this will get you antsy to finally be able to share it with everyone that you’ll put your nose to the grindstone and get it done as fast as possible. And, doing something just for you feels selfish in a good way. Some people tend to overextend themselves for loved ones. So, if they have something that solely theirs, it can feel extremely special. Staying on a task without support may sound impossible, but there are ways to do it. The idea is that you fantasize about your goal on a regular basis. Think about all the awesome consequences of achieving it. Then, think about all the negative things you’ll have to deal with along the way. By considering both the good and bad, you’ll make the fantasy more realistic and will seem attainable. Not only that, but it helps you plan exactly which steps you need to take to get there. Surround yourself with people who have some connection to your dream so that you can further push yourself forward. They may not know what you’re trying to do, but being around them will keep your eyes on the prize. And if you really have to blab it to one person, choose someone you completely trust and who has never been competitive. Let this person be just as successful at achieving her own goals.
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